This metaphor emerged in a session recently and I thought some folks might find it useful. And it's not just that relationships are as important as breathing (though perhaps they are). In the body there are voluntary functions and there are involuntary functions. Voluntary functions are those that we consciously choose to do, and involuntary functions are those we automatically do. Clapping your hands is voluntary. Your heartbeat is involuntary.  Interestingly, there are some

You might come to therapy to make a decision. Fair enough. Lots of people do.  This is a warning that it may not go the way you think. A lot of folks think that therapists are experts that help advise people on what they should do, perhaps because they’re experts in living (and unfortunately I think some therapists believe this about themselves). However, there are good reasons why good therapists usually don’t give advice. First, it’s much better for you to take responsibili

Algorithms are useful, but choose the right ones. Greedy algorithms are problem-solving approaches that choose the most locally optimal...

Relationships are like campfires: They keep us warm, safe, and help us find our way. tl;dr: Relationships have many functions but also...

There’s a myth about self-compassion, and therapy generally, that it takes away your competitive edge. The thought goes that although you might be a bit happier, you won’t try as hard or achieve as much if you were kinder to yourself. This has been, understandably, a point of skepticism for some of my high achieving patients. However, self-compassion actually allows you to stop wasting your energy on criticizing yourself and instead spend it towards something productive. Thin

tl;dr: accept and grieve, connect, take action Winter recedes and summer rushes our way. This means longer days, warmer weather, hiking...

Summer Weather in Washington - Great in August, Concerning in February It’s winter in Seattle. That means it’s been dark and drizzly,...

Comparison is a natural tendency, especially in college, where you’re surrounded by peers striving for success. You’re trying to figure...

Winter break is a time for rest. A time for celebration. For recharging. How can you make the most of it without feeling like you're wasting time?  The first step to a meaningful winter break is clarity. Ask yourself: what do you want to get out of this time? If you’ve been pouring your energy into academics and career goals all semester, there’s no rule that says your break has to be about the same—unless an internship or unique opportunity truly excites you. Instead, consid

Election season can be stressful. This election season is absolutely nerve racking for many, as folks wait with bated breath and hope...

tl;dr: There are different ways of approaching therapy. Sometimes you need to manage week to week happenings, sometimes you have the...

Psychologists like me talk about the unconscious often, but what is it? The unconscious is the part of our mind that operates outside of...

Introduction Most of my patients use something called "the internet." It's a wonderful resource, mostly of memes and pet videos, but it...

Some people think they need to be in crisis to go to therapy. But actually, there are good reasons why someone with more manageable issues might speak with a therapist.

Photo by Marc St. Gil. “ Atlas Chemical Company belches smoke across pasture land in foreground. The plant is referred to as "Old Darky"...

Well...as explained in the first episode, this podcast was an experiment. It turned out to be a quite short one! The conversations were fun and I enjoyed trying something new, but a podcaster I am not. There may be more episodes in the future if the urge strikes, but we're hanging up the microphones for now. I am so glad to have spent the final episode with Emily Wood (https://www.emilywoodcounseling.com/) , discussing attachment theory. She is a generous guest, I believe h

Hey there! Episode three is (and has been) live wherever you get your podcast episodes. In this episode we discuss psychedelic-assisted therapy with Emma Knighton (https://unitywithincounseling.com/). If you prefer to listen on iTunes, here's the link . If you prefer Spotify, here's that link . And you can listen to it right here in this webpage. As always, I hope you find this useful!

Hello! Episode two is now live wherever you get your podcast episodes. In this episode we discuss insight-oriented therapy with Kendra Kirsonis (https://www.kendrakirsonis.com/). If you prefer to listen on iTunes, here's the link . If you prefer Spotify, here's that link . As always, I hope you find this useful.

A photographer, who spends many hours driving across the western US, once gave me some advice about audio books: "always listen to a...

A note before starting: This article is addressed to the friends, family, and presumably therapy clients who have mourned, or will mourn,...