Therapy for Teens (16+)
Due to increased demand and a lack of providers, Forefront Psychology now sees teens aged 16+ in Washington and Massachusetts.
You care about your teenager and can tell something is off. Maybe they used to be talkative but now give one-word answers. Maybe they used to see their friends lot, but now they're often in their room alone. Maybe school, sports, or homework have become a struggle. Perhaps they are irritable, anxious, shut down, or they spiral late at night and you're unsure what to do.
Sixteen to eighteen year olds are juggling a lot: School pressure, friendships, dating, social media, family expectations, sports, identity formation, and looming responsibilities of adulthood. They need support, but also independence. Parents often feel stuck and confused. You want to help but aren't sure how, aren't sure what to talk about, or whether they'll engage or shut their door on you. If you're here, you're probably worried that something is slipping through your fingers and want to figure it out. This is where therapy comes in.
My Approach
I've worked with teens and college students my entire adult life, starting when I was just a teen myself. Clinically, much of my training and work has been on college campuses (see my experience here), which is likely the next step for your child. I'm particularly well suited to help your student grow from being a high school teen to an independent, responsible young adult.
Sessions are focused on helping teens understand their emotions, their behaviors, and their values. We can navigate friendships together, reduce anxiety, handle academic pressure, manage conflict at home, and build the skills needed to survive and thrive in college or work.
If you have questions or are ready to see if we'd be a good fit to work together, schedule a free 15-min phone consultation on my contact page.
For the Teen:
After years of this work, I can say that you'll thrive when you feel understood, respected, and guided, but not controlled or patronized. With that in mind, our work will be confidential, with the exception of safety concerns or with the permission of my patient (which is you, not your parents). That means that if I seriously suspect that you might hurt yourself or another person, I'll let someone know. Or, if there's something you want me to discuss with your folks or teachers, I'll get your permission and can work that out. But I am bound both legally and ethically to keep your information confidential. With time, I trust that you'll see therapy as a safe place to talk about anything.
What Teens Talk about in Therapy
Every adolescence is it's own challenge, but here's what a decade of experience says is common:
PERFECTIONISM
Academic stress, low motivation, and burnout can often look very different. Sometimes a student seems hardworking, but is being crushed under the pressure of unrealistic expectations (often their own). Sometimes a student seems apathetic, but it may be that they just dont see much worth in the busy work their teacher assigns. Sometimes students seem forgetful or to procrastinate, but have an undiagnosed learning difficulty (e.g., ADHD, Dyslexia).
Burning out is especially common for the students I see. It's usually precipitated by a history of good grades that have recently fallen off. Staying up late, missing assignments, avoiding projects that feel challenging, and losing interest in most things they used to enjoy are all signs that your student is burning out.
In therapy we can reconnect to the reasons your student wants to stay curious and work hard (with their own values as fuel). We can separate worth from performance. We'll rebuild healthy rythyms of rest, responsibility, and relationships. One of my goals as a psychologist is to figure out what's going awry so that you (or your teen) can get back to getting things done without feeling crushed.
ANXIETY
Teen anxiety is rarely just about stress. It's often about trying to figure out yourself, figure out the world, and figure out everything that's expected of you. Anxiety can show up as extra irritability or a short fuse, it can look like worrying about your friendships, it can come on as panic about a grade or college application, or it can simmer week after week as you try to be perfect. Often it shows up physically--an upset stomach or headache that you can't quite figure out.
In therapy we can figure out how to slow down and proceed mindfully. This means paying attention to your head and your heart: how you feel and what you want, but also how you think rationally and how you plan longterm. As a teen, you're still developing your approach for meeting challenges and adult responsibilities. Going to therapy helps you set effective strategies that will benefit you for the rest of your life.
FAMILY CONFLICT
"I hate you!" It's almost seems like a rite of passage for teens. But truth is, most teenagers get along pretty well with their parents and siblings. Some friction is inevitable, you're all trying to juggle autonomy and dependence and figure out what's best. However, if conflict is becoming more common, it might be a sign that something big is going on.
Common signs: escalating arguments. Miscommunication and frustration. Your gregarious teen shutting down or withdrawing. Secrecy or lies. Rule breaking. Everyone feeling misunderstood.
I focus on the teen (and leave family therapy to those who specialize in it), but our work together usually helps the whole family system function much better. Therapy for family conflict often involves helping you (the teenager) communicate your needs and wishes more effectively to your parents. It involves helping you understand what you feel, what you think, and what you value (these usually aren't as obvious as we assume). It often means figuring out what else is going on--with your friends, your mood, your body, your identity, your school or athletics--that might be leading to so much conflict at home. Things can be better and I can help you get there.
LONELINESS
Friends are everything at 16 or 17. When they're hard, life is hard. Many teens struggle with feeling left out or replaced, having anxiety around peers, or conflict that they don't know how to navigate. Lots of teens also want deeper relationships but aren't sure how to get them. You might feel lonely. Maybe you feel pressured to do something or be someone you aren't? These are challenges of young adulthood that many face and few have answers for.
Therapy can help you figure out your own answers in a structured, safe space where you have help but not dictations. When you build confidence in yourself, tune in to what your gut is telling you, build communication and social skills, and manage fears...you can create friendships that are real, and safe, and interesting, and durable.
Belonging is core to being human. Figure this out and the rest of your life will benefit.
IDENTITY EXPLORATION
Adolescence is a time of discovery. You're trying to understand who you're becoming as an individual, as a friend, as a student or employee, as a sexual being, as an athlete, and as a global citizen. Your task is to figure out what feels true to you vs what feels forced. If something feels forced, it's unlikely to survive. If it's true to you, it may become a cornerstone of your life.
In therapy, we can explore your identity with no expectations or judgment. Your parents may have lots of hopes for you. I hope they do! But sometimes this can feel like pressure, and sometimes their hopes turn into expectations. As a therapist, I have no ulterior motives or pre-conceived ideas about you. I just want you to be you. Your parents may understandably want you to be safe and secure. I have no skin in this game, so if you want to go be a nonprofit underwater cave explorer in Zimbabwe, I'll help you clarify that passion and figure out how to effectively communicate this to your folks. We can also navigate cultural or religious beliefs, how to authentically and safely explore your sexuality and gender identity, how to actually understand whether you value something, and find the right balance between autonomy and connection. And again, I have no goal other than for you to be yourself.
DEPRESSION
Depression in adolescence can be especially difficult, for both the teen and the parent. It often doesn't look like sadness. It's often more about irritability and anger, withdrawing from family and friends, and numbing out. It might mean sleeping too much or too little (which is hard to determine for teens!). It might mean trouble with grades. It often means self-harm or suicidality. These can be scary and overwhelming. Depression can difficult, and it can be dangerous.
The above are reasons to see a clinical psychologist. When something can be dangerous to your kid, you want to see someone with the most mental health training: a PhD. I can help your teen understand what's happening and develop a plan to help them reconnect with you, with their friends, and with everything else that energizes them. We'll create ways of coping with the numbness and sadness, ways to improve their mood even on the worst days, and work on removing the shame and self-criticism that often accompanies these episodes. Most of all, I can help keep them safe.