Therapy for Professionals
You work a job that takes a lot from you. It may be time, it may be effort, it may be other sacrifices, but at the end of the day you feel drained and haven't found a way through it. Most of the professionals I work with are pretty good at white-knuckling it. You probably are too, and if it weren't for how these things are affecting your relationships or performance, or if you saw the end of the tunnel, you wouldn't be looking for a therapist. But your work is starting to affect your relationship. Your friends do notice a change (or maybe they don't, because when is the last time you talked?). Perhaps your boss doesn’t notice your low output yet, but you wonder how they're missing it. This is where therapy comes in.​
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My Approach​
If you're here, you're probably looking for someone who can help you turn things around. Therapists can't guarantee results (if you find one who does--run), but after more than a decade of working with women and men in tech, healthcare, law, and other demanding professions, I can tell you that I have a track record of helping out.​If you have questions or are ready to see if we'd be a good fit to work together, schedule a free 15-min phone consultation on my contact page.
What Professionals Talk About in Therapy
Professionals come to therapy for many reasons, but here are some common challenges that many of my patients address in our work together:
ANXIETY
Everything wears you down, there's always something to think about, you often live life in the future worrying about what might happen (unless you figure out just the perfect plan of action). Maybe you had your first panic attack or froze up in a meeting (or on a date)? Likely people think you're confident but you usually doubt yourself. Your rumination might actually get praised as thoroughness--which works for a while, until it doesn't.
​​In therapy we'll work on separating your performance from your anxiety. We'll develop the confidence that things will be ok, and even when they aren't, you'll be able to tolerate that too. We'll work on resting without the sense of nagging guilt, and untangle the unconscious wrestling match that keeps you tense and overworked. Importantly--your professional and personal lives will likely both benefit. Like a muscular but tense athlete, you're probably always on the brink of pulling a muscle. Therapy can help you develop the proverbial strength and flexibility, that is, the ability to tolerate intensity/stress and benefit from moments of rest and relaxation.
MEANINGLESSNESS
You might wonder "is this all there is?" You might feel disconnected from what you're doing, as though you didn't really choose it. Maybe you know a lot about what you should want, but not much about what you actually want. These are all very common, especially for folks who look successful but don't feel it. You may even feel guilty for complaining because things seem pretty good. But we need purpose like we need food.
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Here's the thing: if this resonates, that feeling may suggest that you're on your way to finding purpose. That feeling is a signal that you want something more and can carry you through the hard work of therapy. In our work together we can figure out what inner conflicts might stop you from living your real life. We can explore what values and meaning you chase because other people treasure those things, not you. We can listen for the subtle voice telling you what you actually care about...the one that usually gets drowned out by responsibility and chores and fear. Importantly, I won't tell you what to value, and in my experience, you can't choose your purpose. Instead, we'll uncover it and give you permission to follow what you find.
PERFECTIONISM
As a professional you may (especially if you're highly skilled but not exceptionally successful) struggle with the thought that every little detail needs to be right. That if you can just perform flawlessly, you wont disappoint anyone. Or if you stop making mistakes you'll finally top feeling like an imposter. You monitor yourself, you procrastinate, you can't relax afterhours because there's still so much to do, and work hard not so much because you're disciplined (like others think you are) but because it feels like there's no other choice.
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In therapy we can figure out what your choices actually are, learn to accept your limits, gather the ability to tolerate losses, and practice the art of doing things imperfectly. Therapy is a relationship where you know you don't need to earn approval. You may still try. But we can talk about it, so you gain comfort being the imperfect (but still valuable) person you are. Learning to give yourself some margin for error will improve the quality of your life and, perhaps counterintuitively, will likely improve your productivity too.
DEPRESSION
Your life lacks joy, your days lack vibrancy, your relationships may be fine but often feel like a chore, perhaps things feel hopeless or at the very least most things feel like BS without much meaning. Maybe your fuse is shorter than usual or your partner complains about your road rage.
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We'll work on ways to feel better in the short term while understanding how to make improvements durable. We can search for (and find) meaning and purpose, rediscover things that bring you joy, and challenge you to create more vibrant relationships and experiences for yourself. And figure out how to avoid fistfights on the freeway.
NICE GUY/GIRL SYNDROME
You say "yes" even though you're already overwhelmed, or you avoid conflict because taking one for the team always feels easier than pushing back, or you've watched less "nice" folks get the promotion or the romantic partner you wanted. Maybe when you have the relationship it feels one-sided, and your needs from them tend to be ignored until they leak out as frustration or resentment.
We'll figure out how to maintain your kindness (one of your virtues), and set boundaries without guilt, ask for what you need from a romantic partner or your boss/coworkers, and to tolerate conflict and disagreement. And learn where all of this may have come from in the first place. This way you can be your whole self and not feel like your life is carved away for niceness.