Therapy for College Students
College can be the best time of your life, but it can also be the most challenging. You're probably living away from home for the first time, making new friends, and figuring out what it means to date as an adult. You might be figuring out what you like professionally, what you like sexually, and maybe even what you like to eat. You're managing roommates and professors and internships: it's a lot to juggle. Sure you have your friends, but many of them are pretty new to you. On top of that, college counseling centers do their best, but they are tasked with the mental health of the entire university, often limiting what they can provide (some only give students 4 sessions). Therapy at Forefront can help.​
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My Approach
I trained and worked exclusively in college counseling centers before starting my private practice (see my experience here). The desire to help students without the limited resources of college counseling centers prompted me to start Forefront, and helping you (or your student) thrive is still my passion. Many therapists in private practice are unfamiliar with the many systems and resources available to students, simply because they haven't worked there. I've worked with students like you in major R1 universities (Boston University), private religious schools (Boston College, Biola University in CA), and minority- and Hispanic-serving institutions (University of Houston-Clear Lake), and I use that expertise in my private practice. Together we'll do the work in therapy, and connect you with the resources you need, so that your investment in higher education pays off the way it should.
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If you have questions or are ready to see if we'd be a good fit to work together, schedule a free 15-min phone consultation on my contact page.
What Students Talk about in Therapy
No college experience is the same, but here are some things many students discuss with me.
PERFECTIONISM
Academic pressure, social pressure, body pressure...these things are just about the grades and friends and image. They're about tying your worth to your performance. This challenge often feels like worry that you aren't doing enough, or panic before deadlines, or procrastination or avoidance. Sometimes you might feel like one slip could mean the difference between a bright future and complete disaster. That's a level of chronic anxiety that no one can sustain.
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Therapy with me can help you identify the emotional roots of all this perfectionism. We can create some boundaries around your studying, your socializing, and everything else that might be overwhelming your balanced life. Together we can help you stop procrastinating on work or stop avoiding social situations by understanding that mistakes are normal and survivable. You can find healthier rythyms of rest, and build your identity outside your achievements--so you can maintain a solid sense of yourself even during tough times. Importantly, all these things will also help your performance. You don't need to worry that everything will crumble, its more that you'll be healthier, happier, and likely more successful too.
FAMILY STRESS
College is a time of growth for many students. However, sometimes growth means change, which can be hard for families. You might notice some friction when you call or visit home. Perhaps parents imply (or outright tell you) that you should change your major to something more secure or profitable. You might feel like you owe your parents or grandparents something (and perhaps you decide that you do! Therapy isn't me telling you what to do, it's to help you clarify your values). You might be torn between loyalty to the way you grew up and autonomy as a developing adult. Maybe you even feel guilty for wanting your independence.
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Therapy can help you understand these things. We can figure out boundaries that honor both yourself and your family, identify internalized expectations that don't come from your true voice, let go of guilt that isn't yours to carry, and begin to peel back cultural and generational layers--not to discard them, but to understand and choose them. Ultimately, college is about learning and growth, which is exactly what therapy is about too.
LONELINESS
You may have thought college would be the place you make lifelong friends. The kind who are in your wedding. Who you live with after school. Who know everything about you. For a lot of students it doesn't go that way. ​
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Maybe you feel awkward initiating friendships? Fear that you're too much (or too little--too boring)? Perhaps it seems like everyone else has their circle but you. Even when you muster the courage to go out, you feel invisbile.
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Therapy can't magically give you friends. It can, however, be a place where you share the load of loneliness with a trusted other. It can be a place where you don't feel alone. We'll build real confidence (not just faking extroversion). We can practice social skills and genuine connection in the therapy relationship. And we can start to understand what might be happening in these social situations, and what happens when you're alone, that makes you feel so lonely.
ANXIETY
You think ​everyone else has a plan already. You worry that you will make the wrong choice (spoilers: you will) and that it will lead to disaster (it probably won't). You worry you'll disappoint your family. Or your friends. Or your new partner. Maybe you're majoring in one thing but aren't sure you feel very passionate about it. When college students talk about anxiety, it's often not just about making a right choice or getting a good grade. It's often about the pressure you feel to have your life together at the exact moment you're finally free to tear it apart and see what sticks.
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Comparison, fears of falling behind, shame about being uncertain, and the belief that adulthood is about making one giant irreversible choice are all things that we might examine together in therapy. Instead of comparing yourself to others, we'll try to clarify your values so you know what matters to you. This will also give you a "true north" rather than an exact path, so you can be flexible and make adjustments as you go through school and work. We're normalize being uncertain and develop the resilience you need to tolerate "wrong" decisions, detours, and the many hiccups that always come. Usually our work in therapy is to help you find the next step, then the next, then the next, until you gain the confidence to keep taking steps into the unknown.
IDENTITY EXPLORATION
College may be the first time you've ever really stopped to ask "who am I?" ​It's an opportunity for you to figure out (away from all the previous routines and relationships) what you think about yourself and the world. You might be questioning your sexuality and whether you should experiment. Your political beliefs might be shifting. Maybe you feel different about your religion? Now that you're exposed to so many different people, you may finally realize that some of what your family did was strange. Or unhealthy.
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Figuring out your identity is really more like discovering your identity. You're uncovering who you really are. And therapy can help. I can help you navigate fears about disappointing your family, losing connection with your culture and faith community, making "wrong" choices, outgrowing folks you love, and fears about being misunderstood. Therapy is a place to be safe while vulnerable, and a place to talk about all these things without fear of judgment. We can explore who you are without any ulterior motives--I truly don't mind whoever you want to be! I just want you to be you. We'll navigate family conflict and cultural tensions, learn how to know when something is authentically you, and build the confidence to live with integrity so that you can finally feel like yourself.
DEPRESSION
Depression in college​ can be awful. It often means difficulty getting out of bed, falling behind on classes, missing social events, or alienating friends. It means being tired, not enjoying things you expect to enjoy, or being irritable and snippy. Many students blame themselves, especially when their friends and classmates seem so much more motivated and disciplined. But depression isn't a choice.
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Therapy can help you understand what's going on. There are different ways of being depressed (e.g., anaclitic vs introjective) and as a clinical psychologist, I can help you figure that out. We can understand together what depression is doing to your life, and help you heal. This usually means getting reconnected with friends, family, and with your true self. It might mean creating habits and routines that may not be fun, but can help. It might mean changing internal beliefs about yourself, especially about your worth and about failures, and about getting back in touch with things that energize you. It might mean figuring out how to talk with professors about extensions or connecting with resources on campus. We'll need to talk to really know what therapy will look like for you, but you aren't alone and I'm here to help.